You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
