Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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