Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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