Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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