i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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