So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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