I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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