who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i think my cat just said my name.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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