Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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