Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
