FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
