guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
