He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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