A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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