Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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