so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
