I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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