Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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