If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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