I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
