he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
