I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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