I'm lost and stupid without you.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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