you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
