I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
