I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
