I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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