My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
