only if we run a train.
done.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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