remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
