im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
