my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
