I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
please don't ironically join a cult
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
