The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
