At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
