you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
