On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
