there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
