shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
