I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
