I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Too much gin, very little bucket
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
