having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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