so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
