Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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