If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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