lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
