Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
