You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
