i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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