Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
