atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Houston, we have a blender
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
