Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
